party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
