I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I enjoy the company of your penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
