We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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