i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
