My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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