I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
