Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
