I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
