Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
