i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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