He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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