One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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