Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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