well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
