Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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