you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
