Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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