I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
