I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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