it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
