she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
