NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
