how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize