I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
