do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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