Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
