Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
