wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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