just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
