is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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