Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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