this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
