Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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