My friends, they love my intelligence
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
