I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
