You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
