Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sorry my hands just texted you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The Olympian is in my bed
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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