The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
