I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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