If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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