I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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