who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
