I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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