You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
