you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
