At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
