somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
