If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We have so much sex to catch up on
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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