I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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