we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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