porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
